Thursday, March 5, 2015

Things have taken an interesting....... twist

Let's start by setting the scene, shall we?

It was a cold, wintery day in Michigan and a light snow began falling partway through the day. In a rush to get to the grocery store and home before the weather got worse (or got colder!), a young, lovely, fair (albeit klutzy) maiden rushed out the door from work without changing into her trusty, durable winter boots.

Thus, the plot begins to get interesting.

While walking out of said grocery store, the young maiden stepped quickly onto an area of the pavement that had been painted for customer crossings and vehicle warnings to "stop" for said customers. The lovely mixture of the beautiful snowfall and painted parking lot caused the maiden to slip and roll her ankle. This created quite the image of legs flailing, with the grocery cart being used as a life saving device, completed by a high pitched screech to spew forth from said maiden's mouth.

Somehow managing to stay in an upright position, the fair maiden limped to her car, proclaiming an embarrassed, "I'm okay," to a gracious witness who inquired of the maiden's good health.

Fast forward two weeks, after the maiden has been working and on her feet regularly. Her rolled ankle still in quite a bit of pain after her parking lot ordeal. This has caused her to take a whole new view of purchasing stock in Advil brand Liquigels (not a paid endorsement), while a previously purchased ankle brace has been utilized daily. The fair maiden has determined that while she has a high tolerance for pain, things are starting to become unbearable, and just the brushing of the bottom of her pants leg over the top of her foot is enough to cause great distress.

After much "hemming and hawing" and threats to "stop being an idiot" by her friends, our lovely maiden finally visits a local urgent care clinic where a kind doctor took one look and proclaimed it as being a "high sprain." He also determined that the young maiden was to be placed within the confines of a chair with wheels in order to be transferred to receive x-rays of her injured limb.

After mere minutes (oh, the wonders of digital, modern medicine!), the nurse returns with a boot-like contraption and crutches to support the fair maiden on her quest through the next 4-6 weeks of life.

Four. To. Six. Weeks.

Day one: After hobbling out to the car and receiving help from the nurse who carried the maiden's now extra winter boot and bag of papers to her car, the fair maiden had to get her prescriptions filled. This only happened after she parked her car, got out, and realized that she was parked right next to the drainage hole for the parking lot. Which, like all drainage holes, had a lid that was lower than the lot because the parking lot has been paved over since it had been set in place. Thus, trying to gimp around on new crutches did not start off well.

Day two: All of the maiden's young pupils are concerned for her safety. Many other young, inquisitive minds inquired as well. Thus, the maiden regaled them with tales of dangerous fights with a massive alligator, who unfortunately, won the brutal battle.

Day three: Even though the maiden is able to remove the boot contraption temporarily, her leg itches horribly! This causes the maiden to believe that it is purely psychological, as her legs almost never itch. And this is happening deep down within the boot, where no man made materials within her possession can reach. (It should be noted that at the time of this writing, the fair maiden came up with an idea to reach that itch halfway down her calf, and just as quickly tried it and failed miserably).

Day four: After dealing with insurance issues (enough to go into a completely different tangent!) the fair maiden managed to track down her primary physician (he had moved since the last time she visited his walk-in clinic) to get an appointment scheduled in order to get an orthopedic follow up that the urgent care doctor recommended.

It's still going to be a long 4-6 weeks.